When Everyone Else Seems Ahead: Keeping Social Media in Perspective as September Approaches
There is something distinctive about August that has very little to do with the weather.
Long before the first school bell rings or university campuses begin to fill, the signs of September quietly begin to appear. Shop windows replace summer displays with school uniforms. Parents search for shoes that fit feet which seem to have grown overnight. Colleges send enrolment information, universities issue welcome packs, and family calendars slowly begin to fill once more.
For many households, these practical preparations become part of the familiar rhythm of late summer. Yet beneath the surface, another kind of preparation is taking place—one that is less visible, but often far more significant.
Young people are preparing emotionally for what comes next.
For some, September brings excitement and opportunity. For others, it brings uncertainty. Starting a new school, moving to college or university, beginning an apprenticeship or simply returning to a familiar classroom can all prompt the same quiet questions:
- Will I fit in?
- Will I make friends?
- Am I ready?
These thoughts are a normal part of transition. Whenever life moves us into unfamiliar territory, it is natural to pause and wonder what lies ahead.
Today, however, those reflections rarely happen in isolation.
They unfold alongside a constant stream of other people’s lives.
Unlike previous generations, many young people prepare for life’s transitions in full view of everyone else’s milestones.
Throughout August, social media fills with photographs that capture moments people naturally want to celebrate. Holidays are remembered through snapshots in the sunshine. Students share examination results. Universities welcome new arrivals. Friends post pictures of new accommodation, first jobs and fresh beginnings.
There is nothing unusual about sharing these moments. They are part of how we stay connected and celebrate important chapters in one another’s lives.
The difficulty lies not in what people choose to share, but in what those images leave unseen.
A photograph captures a moment, not the journey that led to it.
Behind a smiling picture celebrating examination results may have been months of uncertainty, disappointment or relentless revision. Behind the excitement of moving into university accommodation may be worries about leaving home, making friends or wondering whether they truly belong. Even the most confident-looking young person is likely to carry doubts that never appear on a screen.
Viewed individually, these posts are simply snapshots of ordinary lives.
Viewed together, they can create the impression that everyone else is moving confidently towards the future while we alone are still trying to work things out.
Many young people recognise that feeling, even if they rarely put it into words.
Parents and carers sometimes notice the effects indirectly. A son or daughter who had seemed excited about September becomes unusually quiet. Someone who normally enjoys spending time with friends begins withdrawing a little. Others become increasingly self-critical or seem deflated after spending time scrolling through their phone.
None of these changes automatically point to social media. Adolescence is a period of enormous emotional, psychological and social development, and many different experiences influence how young people feel about themselves.
Even so, times of transition can make comparison feel louder than usual.
Comparing ourselves with other people is one of the ways we make sense of the world around us.
Long before social media existed, people looked to friends, neighbours and classmates to understand where they fitted in. Comparison, in itself, is neither unusual nor unhealthy. It can motivate us to learn, encourage us to set goals and help us understand our place within a community.
The challenge begins when comparison quietly changes its purpose.
Instead of helping us learn, it begins to shape how we judge our own worth.
Instead of encouraging progress, it begins to undermine confidence.
This shift often happens so gradually that it passes unnoticed.
A young person may never consciously think, “Everyone else is doing better than me.” They may simply notice that they feel less hopeful, less confident or less satisfied with themselves after spending time online, without immediately understanding why.
That emotional response deserves our attention.
Research over recent years suggests that the relationship between social media and wellbeing is more nuanced than the amount of time spent online alone. Increasingly, studies indicate that the quality of online experiences—and the extent to which they encourage comparison—can influence how young people feel about themselves.
In other words, social media is rarely the whole story.
More often, the challenge lies in the quiet assumptions it can encourage us to make about our own lives.
As September approaches, that perspective becomes especially important. New beginnings have always brought uncertainty. Social media has not created those feelings, but it can sometimes amplify them by making it appear that everyone else is facing the future with greater confidence than they really are.
Understanding that is the first step towards approaching the weeks ahead with greater self-compassion and perspective.
Part Two will be published later this month.
We’ll explore why confidence grows when we recognise our own progress, how parents, carers and professionals can help young people develop a healthier perspective, and why preparing emotionally deserves just as much attention as buying uniforms, packing bags or planning the journey to a new beginning.